


A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing grows there. (Life begins outside the comfort zone)

by CLOSED



Series: [ for you're the start and end of me | park & park ] [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 17:30:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13745841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CLOSED/pseuds/CLOSED
Summary: It's a long night and there are four words to utter after this long drive.





	A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing grows there. (Life begins outside the comfort zone)

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a Minhyun fanfic but guess who changed her mind lol  
> Anyway, my first 2park and hopefully not last. Sorry. I only tried, please forgive me.  
> And 2park are obvs older here. Ciao

 

 

For the past eight years, it has been a tradition between the two of them.

 

Pringles, cheetos, potato chips --- all snacks that Jihoon can find in the nearest convenience store --- cans of beer and cola, and a jug of water behind his UAZ pick up car, two fluttering hearts and four words to utter after this long journey hanging on their lips, off they go.

 

_It's going to be a long night,_ he decides as they awkwardly take a glance at each other, smiling and acting as if there's nothing wrong.

 

“All buckled up?” Woojin asks, patting the steering wheel.

 

Jihoon puts his seat belt on. “Aye, aye,sir!”

 

And he hopes to last through the night.

 

“Pringles or ----” He's about to ask when his best friend decides to cut in.

 

“Pringles! Pringles!” He happily chants, taking the can of Pringles and offering it to Woojin who happily munches the said snack.

 

They happily eat the snack away until there's a loud 'Ding!' from Jihoon's notification. He unlocks his phone, opens his instagram, and rolls his eyes sarcastically.

 

“Look at your sister Yerim and Heon-ah!” He says, wagging his phone on his face.

 

On it is a photo of Yerim and Heon --- Woojin's younger sister --- displaying a sweet kiss on Heon's SNS. They are even wearing a couple onesies, a rabbit for Yerim and a dog for Heon. Below is a caption of “A New Year With My One and Only.”

 

Currently, Jihoon is exaggerating a fake throw up as he gives a glance back at the said photo. Woojin taps the heart button in which he protests whilst Woojin only smiles by his exaggerated reaction.

 

“What's wrong with that?” He has the audacity to wonder.

 

Jihoon can't help the eye roll. He is not sure whether Woojin is just really innocent or stupid. Stupid, he decides for him instead. “Oh my god, Park!” It sounds like he's scandalized at the moment, taking his phone back. “Did you see the photo as I did?” A nod. “And it's not sickeningly sweet for your tooth it gives you cavities?”

 

A shake of his big fat head.

 

He hangs his head with his stupidity or innocence, you judge it. “What fickery fuckery.”

 

“I think it's cute.” Woojin points out.

 

_That I have to agree,_ he thinks.

 

“You're missing out the point, Park.” He still protests because he is stubborn AF. “I mean to say, I have known them all my life AND MY INNOCENT EYES HAVE TO SEE THIS?!?” He shoves the phone once more.

 

Woojin has to laugh at that just to annoy him and pushes the phone away before they suddenly get into an accident. “You've known me all our lives, too.”

 

“So? It's not like you're posting sickeningly sweet toothache-inducing photo such your friend and your sister.”

 

“Point taken.” He conceded and he's never post this or else Jihoon would have his “big fat head” for that.

 

A comfortable silence follows through as they bob their head to the music.

 

“Hey, Hoon?” He cuts the silence. Jihoon hums a reply. “Do you remember how we first met?”

 

Jihoon's eyes go bigger and wider as far as they can by the mere memory.

 

 

 

 

**TRACK 1 –[BOLBALGAN4 – GRUMPY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmiTpXX3cmc)**

 

 

_**Liking you is what I do best** _

_**Gnawing, pinching, biting and following you without knowing** _

_**With red sun glass** _

 

 

 

 

_Busan..._

 

_It was a new place - - - a new home for him._

 

_Park Jihoon was the perfect epitome of a new student in the class. His new school was not that big and most students knew each other. And he liked that because his previous school was big and there were so many students. Thankfully, his family had to move to Busan for his Dad's new job. (Much better pay, Jihoon, his Mom told him once)._

 

_A week into this new school and it already felt comfortable. He had already met new friends like Jinyoung and Daehwi. They would usually hang out together especially during lunch time. Everything was perfect for him._

 

_Well, aside from the fact that there was boy who liked teasing and pissing him off._

 

_This little boy had cute brown eyes, two front teeth like a rabbit, and a gummy smile that could rival the sun for it could light the whole world. He was undeniably cute but the said boy liked annoying him, kissing him out-of-nowhere then running away._

 

_It was super bothering for a ten year old like him._

 

_One fateful afternoon, he was eating his perfectly made favorite egg sandwich when the glutton boy kissed him first, bit his sandwich then ran away with long awkward limbs. He pouted watching him scuffle away. Now, his perfect sandwich was half-eaten._

 

_Jihoon lamented on the school bench, munching at the same time glaring on the ground, tuning out the rest of the world. He hated that boy!_

 

_Why did God hate him so much? He only wanted to eat!_

 

_Then there was someone leaning down on him and the next thing he knew was his sandwich sitting on the ground._

 

 

 

“You punched me!” chuckles Woojin. His chuckle is so unlike of what it used to be. Deep and husky. He wants to shove more Pringles inside his throat to stop gloating at him. “I was just going to ask why you seemed down but you freaking punched me!”

 

Jihoon covers his mouth in defense. “In my defense, I was surprised by you.”

 

 

 

_His mouth hung open as he saw, not a boy with cute brown eyes but of black ones, lips as red as cherries and the blood running down his nose ---_

 

_“Oh no!” exclaimed Jihoon because this was not the boy he was expecting. “Let --- let's go to the clinic.” He pulled him to the clinic with trembling hands and knees, scared that he might get kicked out of his new school._

 

 

 

He sighs heavily, drowning the sound of laughter from Woojin. Jihoon wants to disappear from the world and from the embarrassment he gets every time they speak of it. But then again, that was how he met Woojin --- his best friend of eighteen years. And he's never going to trade it for anything in this world.

 

“I'm sorry for breaking your nose, Park.”

 

“Your apology is eighteen years late, Park.” But there's a hint of fondness in his voice.

 

The man looks outside, sticking his nose on it. “Still...”

 

“Hey! Hey hey hey!” He singsongs at his, shaking his shoulders harder until he looks at him with a pout. He tries to erase the pout by deflating it by poking. Jihoon watches as he keeps laughing at his dumb face. “No sadness tonight, remember?”

 

_“Let this be one nostalgic night.”_ Woojin n's voice resounds in his ears.

 

“It's going to be a New Year.” He still insists.

 

“New Year....” There's a hint of longing in his voice as he looks at Woojin and his now very red ears. He retracts his hand from his face and cannot look at the way Jihoon is wiggling his brows like a maniac. “New Year..” He repeats again.

 

“Park! Don't remind me, please.”

 

But evilness is like his second nature.

 

 

 

 

 

**TRACK 02 –[BEVY MARCO – BAD DREAMS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDEs31X21xQ)**

 

 

_**The temperature of a sandy beach** _

_**and the color of the rolling waves** _

_**is quite different from yesterday.** _

 

 

 

_It's been a tradition. During Christmas and New Year, the both of them had to spend those nights at each other's houses. Last Christmas, Woojin spent his night at Jihoon's house at their spare room and now he was to spend him New Year at the second Park's house._

 

 

_( “Why am I the second Park?” Woojin asked him when they were on the see saw._

 

_Jihoon shrugged at him, trying to bounce on the seesaw. “Cause I'm older than you are, second Park.”_

 

_“That's dumb.” Woojin commented._

 

_“You're dumber!” The first Park yelled back at him._

 

_That afternoon, Jihoon found himself hanging at the highest part of the seesaw.)_

 

 

_But that night had been quite memorable for the two of them. They did not get to enjoy it since the rain was hard outside and his parents told the kids (namely Heon, Yerim, Jihoon and Woojin) to retreat to their respective rooms (aka boys' room at Woojin's and girl's room at Yerim) instead._

 

_Sighing, they just followed through with waves at each other._

 

_Jihoon knew there was something wrong when he kept tossing on the bed while Heon slept peacefully. He knew there was something wrong since there was loud roar of thunder outside and Woojin was scared of the sound. So it didn't come as a surprise when the door of the room opened and Woojin was having a peak-a-boo inside._

 

_He caught his eyes and it was like a hypnotism because he was already standing as they made their way in the living room. There, the two kids both sat on the floor, Woojin digging himself on his right part._

 

_His eyes were in a panic mode as another loud roar struck. And Jihoon wasn't sure whether to laugh or protect him as he whimpered with another struck of the thunder._

 

_“I can't believe we're fourteen years old and you're still scared of thunder.” Jihoon told him teasingly._

 

_Woojin, as matured as he was, glared at Jihoon in return. “Shut up!”_

 

_He pouted and shut his mouth up but Jihoon still kept flinching every time the thunder roared. He realized how close Jihoon was that he didn't notice that he put his arms around him like a baby._

 

_“God, Park, I can't believe this.”_

 

_The fourteen-year old boy nudged his side to keep his mouth shut. He was really violent when it came to these things. He stood up but Jihoon whined at him. “Sit down!” He hissed._

 

_“I'll be quick.” He only said, running back to get his mp3 player and ear phones. When he came back, Jihoon had his hands covering his ears and black eyes shut as if that could tune out the thunder._

 

_Jihoon sat beside him, put one ear bud on his, another one on Woojin's, and the next moment he knew Woojin's head was on his shoulders._

 

_“Thank you.” He whispered._

 

_He stiffened on his place as soon as he heard him spoke._

 

 

 

“You have to admit, Park, you were blushing when I said thank you.” He teases, pinching Jihoon's nose in the process.

 

His haw drops, because there's no way in hell. “WHAT? No freaking way!”

 

“Heh.” He smirks _that_ way that kind of makes him sweat because (he'd never admit this to anyone, let alone Park Woojin) it's quite endearing. _Quite._ Not to mention, his snaggletooth that stands out the most. “Most girls would have fainted if I did that to them.”

 

“What?” inquires Jihoon. “To see that boy a scaredy cat?”

 

There's a proud nod from him. “Then, she'd protect the prince from the evil thunder and thinks 'oh, how cute, my prince!' then she's going to swear that when they grow up, they would get married and be forever together.”

 

“Wait --- isn't that supposed to be like the vice versa? Like a princess blabla instead?”

 

“Park,” Woojin calls his pet name like he's tired. “stop gender inequality.”

 

The man purses his lips then laughs at him. “What. I'm not even --- why am I having this conversation with you again, Park?”

 

“You started this!”

 

“And there's another loud roaring of thunder...”

 

Woojin puts one hand in his ear. “Park, can you not do this ---”

 

 

 

 

_“Thank you.” He whispered._

 

_He stiffened on his place as soon as he heard him spoke. There's something nice in his voice. They have been the best of friends since they were ten years old and only then he realized how nice his voice sounded if deep._

 

_But then there's another loud roar of thunder and Woojin was next seen jumping from his place on his lap and they were impossibly close. He looked surprised by the close proximity but Woojin's eyes were closed and couldn't be bother at the moment._

 

_“Park..” He called-whispered because his parents might wake up. “Park..”_

 

_Park Woojin was completely ignoring him in favor of comfortable seat aka his lap, thankyousomuch. He rolled his eyes and quietly admired his best friend's feature. Long eyelashes,high nose and red red lips. He had seem girls swooning over his best friend (and some even threatening him because they were --- friends) and now, he could see why they would all go gaga over him._

 

_“Park...” He tried once more but another sound and Woojin jumped again._

 

 

 

 

“Wow, just thinking about it ---” He shudders in disgust.

 

 

 

_This time, Jihoon realized that his lap was indeed wet._

 

_“Park! You peed on me!” His voice shook from utter distaste._

 

 

 

Woojin slumps his head on the steering wheel once there's a traffic and Johoon can't breathe properly from laughing so much, his hands clutching his belly.

 

“You ---” He snorts. “---peed on me. What the hell, Park Woojin.”

 

“You wound me, Jihoonie. You wound me.” He dramatically clutches his heart and fakes a sob. “But can you shut up? That's like fourteen years ago.”

 

“Every time it's a New Year, I can't help but think about you since then.”

 

Woojin flutters his eyes open and closes at him like an aegyo he doesn't have. “I'm honored.”

 

Jihoon's face screams of disgust looking at his best friend. “You shouldn't be! Wow, like I've never felt so so so ewwww-y in my whole life. A boy! Peed on me!!!”

 

“Beat that, hun.”

 

“Ahhhh--- I just want to sleep.” He deadpans at him. “Good thing, you didn't poop on me.”

 

“Park Jihoon, stop being stupid!”

 

Another retort is on his lips when his phone rings for a video call.

 

_Poohoon_

 

“Well, hello little bro.” He drawls as soon as he sees his brother in the video.

 

“Hyung.” He warns, voice deeper than the last time he heard.

 

“Oh, is that Jaehoon?? Hello!” Woojin greets, showing his face on the video.

 

Alternately, Jihoon looks both at his best friend and brother, pointing a finger, saying. “Pee.” to Woojin and “Poo.” to Jaehoon whose head is not shown anymore. “Pee poo pee poo pee poo.”

 

“Hyung!” Jaehoon whines on the other line. “Shut Hyung _babo_ up!”

 

Woojin covers his mouth but he still singsongs “Pee poo”

 

“I was ---” His brother shows his face again, beet-red this time. “---just going to greet you and Hyun a Happy New Year but I guess I shouldn't have bothered seeing Hyung _babo_ bullying me again.”

 

“Ohhh--” Jihoon coos once his mouth is free from his big hand. “---my baby Jaehoon, Hyung is sorry.”

 

There's a hint of mischievousness in Jaehoon's face, the vampire's teeth showing up, too. “On one condition.”

 

“Why don't I want to hear this condition?”

 

“Hyuuuuuuuuung!” Jaehoon asks for Woojin's back up. Brat knows his weakness and uses it to his advantage. Woojin looks at him and then to Jaehoon with a thumbs up. “Why can't I have Woojin-hyung as my brother instead?”

 

“Brat.” He comments. “What is it, Poohoon?”

 

“The newest wii game, Hyung. It's just that Jinyoungie already has it.” Jinyoung is Jaehoon's best friend. He pouts in for more effect, puppy eyes showing and Jihoon can already feel the incoming head ache named Poohoon. “Hyung, please please please. It's also a New Year, too.”

 

“Poohon...” He sighs.

 

“I'll get it for you.” Woojin says which earns a loud squeal from Jaehoon.

 

He glares at his best friend who shrugs in innocence. “No!” He counterfeits. “Why would you buy this brat the game he wants? Let him save his own allowance and buy it himself.”

 

“Hyung, Jinyoung has it already.” He yammers more.

 

“Borrow from him then?” He bargains.

 

“I don't want toooooooo!” Jaehoon screams this time.

 

“I'll buy you. I told you.” Woojin pacifies once more.

 

He looks at him and pinches him. “No no no.”

 

“Then can I ask G--”

 

“Nooooo.” There's finality in his tone. “I'll buy you.”

 

Jaehoon smiles in triumph and stands up to dance. Jihoon sighs and turns to Woojin this time, in his chaste voice. “You can't do this to him every time. You can't make him play the cards like this.”

 

But Woojin cutely pouts at him and jokingly hits him on chest. “Cheapskate.”

 

“Woojin Hyung, Jihoon Hyuuuung, thank you so much. I love you. Please get married! Happy New Year!” Jaehoon kisses the phone and Jihoon shakes his head before turning it off.

 

“He's grown a lot, noh?” He remarks, shaking his head with a fond smile. The kind of smile who feels fatherly and for some reason, Jihoon's heart swells at the thought.

 

“Jaehoon and Jinyoung are going to be my death someday.” Jihoon comments. “But they have grown up a lot.”

 

“Indeed.” He seconds. “Like a man.”

 

He nods his head in reply, his eyes following the other cars outside. Of course, he loves his brother and he will never have him in another way, no matter how nosy or annoying he is.

 

“Park?” Woojin's voice sounds unsure. “I am just wondering --- if you have seen me as man?”

 

The man, Jihoon, beside him looks at him, petrified by the question. He opens his jaw only to close it again. This isn't something that he usually asks. Yes, he asks random things but as serious as this? Or maybe it's just his tone and how he asks it? Or perhaps he doesn't have the answer for that yet?

 

“I--- but have you ever seen me as another man, too?” He all blurts out then regrets after.

 

Woojin's eyes are fixed on the road when he nods an answer.

 

“How---”

 

“I mean, I am always aware that you are a boy --- or a man first before you're my best friend. Someone who has more than pretty face or the fashion disaster. You're more than that.” There's a tiny hint of sadness in his voice. Or perhaps, that's just his illusion. “Most of the guys are aware, Park. Only you aren't, I guess.”

 

“But... we... I...”

 

“So do you?”

 

Jihoon clears his throat a little bit loudly than he intends it to be.

 

 

 

 

 

**TRACK 03 –[BOLBALGAN4 – FIRST LOVE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GZ_aseU5Wg)**

 

 

 

_**When we were young, you were timid and quiet, do you remember?** _

_**But every time you spoke, you spoke so nicely** _

_**Now I can’t tease you anymore, your shoulders are so broad** _

_**It makes my heart flutter, it looks so warm** _

 

 

_“Isn't this the boy who likes to stick himself with Woojin oppa?” A girl sneered at him. He knew this girl because they were actually classmates but the way she was looking at him felt creepy for some reason._

 

_The girls hated him. They did. For some reason, his friendship with Park Woojin was the reason. Popular, the greatest and best dancer with shy demeanor Park Woojin was the reason why. If only they knew._

 

_“Yah!” Another girl yelled, even pulling his hair. “We're talking to you, flirt.”_

 

_He was being crowded by four girls who were all glaring hard at him._

 

_Another girl even pulled his bag on the ground, spilling his things. This seemed funny to them for some reason as he picked up the contents of his bag._ You don't hit girls, Park Jihoon, _he reminded himself._

 

_There was someone who kicked him on the back that sent him kneeling._

 

_Then there's another round of laughter. If this was funny, Jihoon had no idea._

 

_“When will you stop flirting with Woojin, huh?”_

 

_Jihoon made a face. “I'm not even flirting. And only Woojin can dream.” He said under his breath._

 

_“Yah, yah, what did you say?”_

 

_He stood up after picking up his bag then turned to the rest of the girls. “You know, just a small advice, you should be kinder to me, noh, if you want to have a shot with Woojin instead of being pathetic losers like this.”_

 

_“What did you just say?”_

 

_“I'm his best friend.” He reminded them. “Just best friends.”_

 

_The other all but rolled their eyes then suddenly he got slapped by the girl who was his classmate._

 

_“You're such a fucking airhead.” The classmate told him. “I hate you”_

 

_He was about to slap once more when they heard someone saying,”What are you doing?”_

 

_Park Woojin stood there, looking genuinely mad as he could. Jihoon didn't lift his head and tried avoiding his gaze when he came up to them. He stood in front of him and he noticed how taller his best friend was compared to him. This was the first he noticed how broad his shoulders were because he was used to stand beside him, not behind him._

 

_“Uhm--- hi, Woojin oppa.” The girl suddenly turned nice. “Jihoon-ssi and I are just talking to each other.” The girls gave him pointed looks. “Right, Jihoon-ssi?”_

 

_“And you slapped him?” Woojin's tone was incredulous._

 

_“We didn't slap him!” Another girl defended. “Uhmm – it was meant as a joke.”_

 

_“A joke?” He snorted at them. “I hope this is the first and the last time you're going to hurt anybody --- especially Park Jihoon, or else you will hear from the principal.”_

 

_“But ---” The classmate was about to protest._

 

_“Do you understand?” Woojin asked. The girls all nodded their heads at him. The next thing he knew, Woojin was pulling her away from them._

 

_He never took note of it but the way Woojin said those words, he seemed really cool. His face was all hot and red as he saw their other friends whooping at them for some reason but Woojin still wasn't stopping until they reached an empty classroom._

 

_He led him to a seat then inspected him face._

 

_“Are you okay? Did it hurt?” He asked, his face full of worry as he started inspecting his face. He was close to him, he was fully aware how he smelled of mint right at this moment. And his eyes were of color black and how he could drown with them. How nice color they were and how hypnotizing they could be._

 

_Maybe he already did because Woojin was snapping his fingers in front of his face.“What, Park? I'm okay.” He said after being in a daze. He pushed him away but that irritated him more as he leaned more and clasped his hand around him._

 

_And somehow, it felt like his world stopped for a second because being friends and stuck with each other for seven years already, he never thought like this could happen. To see him not as his best friend for seven years --- but of a guy --- of someone he could like. He didn't like this information a bit._

 

_“But you sounded cool back then.” He admitted. “Thank you.”_

 

_Park Woojin was giving him **that** smile. The smile that somehow made him feel like there were knots inside his stomach that he had to untie. And goddamn his snaggletooth. There must be something about it. He ruffled his hair gently with still the same smile._

 

_Park Jihoon wanted to slap himself awake that day._

 

_Because no matter how much he liked to disagree with mini Jihoon inside his mind, Park Woojin was --- is ---- and will always be his first love._

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon clears his throat a little bit loudly than he intends it to be. There's a reason why he is inside this car with Woojin going back to Busan. But is it the right time already? Is it the time to talk about this?

 

He fidgets with his hoodie as he answers. “At some point, Park, yes. I mean. I'm not blind. You were that popular boy in middle school to high school. Girls will have eye problem if they can't see that.”

 

“Well, I thought you were blind.” An offhand comment from him. Jihoon halts his fidgeting and warily stares at him. “Most of our friends used to tease us together. We were like attached together so they thought we were actually together. Didn't Hwi or anyone ask you?”

 

_“Are you together?” Daehwo asked him once Woojin came out of her room._

 

_In reply, Jihoon laughed and brushed off the question immediately._

 

“Somehow, I believed we were.” He confesses albeit hesitant. His hands on the steering wheel are red as the tip of his ears. “Dating, I mean. You were the most special boy for me. You knew who I am and you didn't judge me. Would have plucked the stars if you asked. You know what I mean?”

 

Suddenly, his throat is too dry to answer.

 

Woojin breathes in and continues. “I kept asking Yerim if I should just tell you. You were dense. And still are, by the way. I think everybody knew I liked you except for you.”

 

Park Jihoon's heart misses a beat at this revelation.

 

 

 

**TRACK 04 –[MCKAY FT. JEFF BERNAT – ANGEL2ME](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c64vgmNlq84)**

 

_**Lady I love you** _

_**I just wanna show you** _

_**From the way you touch me and kiss me to the sparkle in your eyes** _

_**Oh, how I love you** _

_**I just feel lost without you** _

_**With my love and intuition you'll never have to say goodbye** _

 

 

 

_There must be something about Jihoon today and Woojin couldn't help but blush just by the mere sight of his best friend. Maybe it was because he was wearing something good today? (Unlike his neon pink or orange he used to wear in school) or perhaps it was because of the cute piggy headband on his head?_

 

_He was just not sure, all he knew was that he was sparkling. His eyes were. And they were fourthwheeling Yerim and Heon on their amusement park date. (Heon was paying, mind you, because if not, no date for them) But there was just something about how Jihoon kept running around in the amusement park with that smile and eyes sparkling around._

 

_Woojin was not certain but it was like he was hypnotized because the next moment he knew he was riding the Viking. Viking, that he feared the most, but Jihoon was on his left side and there was nothing but a smile in his pretty face at the moment._

 

_And he decided he was not gonna let that smile fade away. Not now with him beside him --- not ever in his watch._

 

_Admittedly, he feared Viking the most. He couldn't stomach the adrenaline being in the particular amusement ride. However, Jihoon was holding his hand, though he wasn't sure if his blood in his hand was still circulating, he thought it was worth it._

 

_The sparkle in his eyes were worth the blood clot in his hand._

 

 

 

_“Why don't you just ask him?” Yerim piped up as he stood waiting for Jihoon the glutton to buy hotdogs after some hellish ride they took. His younger sister just had to annoy him because she kept giving him that look as if she knew his deepest darkest secret._

 

_Woojin feigned an innocence at her. “I don't know what you're talking, Yerim.”_

 

_Yerim smirked at him, elbowing his stomach. “Pfft, as if I'm blind. Pretty sure you like Jihoon oppa. So --- when are you asking him out?”_

 

_He sighed in defeat, looking at his sister, asking for help. “I--- I'm scared.”_

 

_The woman ruffled his hair lovingly and said, “If I were you, I'd make a move before someone else does.”_

 

_“Do you think someone would make a move on him, Yerim?”_

 

_Yerim shrugged her shoulders and answered. “Who knows, right?”_

 

_“Park!” Jihoon suddenly called from his place, beckoning him to help._

 

_Before he could reach Jihoon, he heard his sister say, “Whipped.”_

 

_When he reached him, he almost tripped on his foot which earned one of Jihoon's booming genuine laughter. He then decided, as he struggled to stand on his legs, that making a fool out of himself would be fine as long as he could hear his sincere laughter like this._

 

 

 

 

 

 

Up until now, Jihoon can't utter any words at him. He has a hard time digesting this revelation. Woojin, who was --- is his first love, liked him back. And that he did not make a move.

 

“I didn't want to make this extra awkward, I was just --- I think I needed you to know.” He informs quietly. “Since this would be the last time we would be doing this.”

 

_Eight years_. This long drive has been their tradition ever since Woojin first received his first car. And that was eight years ago. He was the first one he drove when he had his car. But tonight --- tonight is the night that everything is going to end. After this night, he isn't sure whether things would be the same for the both of them.

 

At twenty-eight, Woojin is ready to take a step forward for something much better. And because of that, they settled for this one last long drive.

 

Jihoon fakes a yawn and rests his head on the window, embracing the pillow tighter on his chest, closing his eyes for they might betray them at anytime. “But I'm happy for you and Hyeongseob. Really, Park.”

 

 

 

**TRACK 05 –[YELLA D – ON THE WAY TO YOU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVRYiqliTzc)**

 

_**Because I want you,** _

_**I had to act even more like I was okay.** _

_**Because I never believed it,** _

_**I just want to catch this chance** _

_**I read in a book to grab when it's here** _

_**The future can't be known so it doesn't come easy** _

 

 

 

 

 

_On the eve of his twenty-second birthday, Woojin chose to celebrate it with him and no one else. Tomorrow would be another day, but tonight would be just between the two of them and their friends understood and respected that._

 

_There wasn't anything special since they still had to attend college the next day so they chose to celebrate it at a noraebang but neither of them were singing. They were just huddled together in a corner with songs they chose playing as a background song._

 

_It was comfortable, party hats on their head, a cake on the table and each other's heads on their shoulders. He was a comfort zone for him --- to him. The zone wherein you could go when everything was too exhausting or when things were too much to handle._

 

_Jihoon sat up and Woojin whined but he immediately went back to give Woojin a bottle._

 

_“Here,happy Birthday!” He said._

 

_Woojin accepted the bottle with confusion on his face._

 

_“When you're feeling down, or anything, just open one star.” Jihoon instructed him._

 

_He opened the bottle with a smile. “Can I open one?”_

 

_“Are you feeling down?”_

 

_The guy shook his head and pouted. “No.”_

 

_“My answer is no, too.” He declined and sat next to him once more._

 

_“Park.” The way he called his name sent shiver to him. “Uhm --- I don't know how to break this but ---”_

 

_“Huh...”_

 

_“I'm --- I'm dating Hyeongseobbie. I wanted to tell you first before the others.”_

 

_“Oh.” He looked up at him and slowly broke his face into one of his most hurtful smiles. “Congratulations, Park! Hyeongseobbie is a lovely guy. Don't break his heart.”_ I think you already broke my heart, so don't go breaking others anymore.

 

_Hyeongseob --- Hyeongseob was a pretty guy the group met in their college days. And he was pretty and also had a good personality. A guy Woojin could be proud of --- any man could be proud of, honestly. It stung a bit, to know that your first love already had someone, but if he's happy then, why not?_

 

_“I hope he makes you happy.” Jihoon whispered._

 

_“He does.” Woojin reassured him and silence came to them. “Can I open one star, Park?”_

 

_“You aren't even sad.” He pointed out._

 

_“But it's my birthday, please?” There was the cute pout once more._

 

_Defeated, he inclined his head and with delight, Woojin took one star from the bottle. Truthfully, he was actually too shy to see his reaction to read the things he wrote in those star-shaped little pieces of paper._

 

_Opening, Woojin noted. “Woah, you even hand wrote them, Park.”_

 

 

_**You have beautiful eyes and in a sea of people, none have eyes** _

_**that contain even a spark compared to the firework in yours.** _

 

 

 

 

 

“But you know what,” Woojin breathes out when he thinks he's already sleeping. He prays so hard that he won't be obvious that he's listening. “I think I had regrets not telling you before. Maybe, --- maybe we could have had our chance.”

 

Then he hears his laughter, one that kind of breaks his heart. “Or maybe not. What you and him have, it's special --- it's beautiful, and I would never want to be the reason for that to wither. What you have with him is genuine and I know and I can see you're helplessly in love with him the way he does to you --- so no, Park Jihoon, God knows I would never want to be in the middle of it.”

 

Woojin sighs and continues, “God --- God knows how I tried to suppress what I feel for you. I tried so hard not to cross the boundary of our friendship because you're my best friend and he's a good good good friend, too.”

 

“I forbade myself not to come to him and just punch him and hurt him because how dare he steal you away from me? How dare he come to you and right under my nose tell you how he feels when I could never? But he treats you right --- I think much better than I could ever. He treats you as if you're his own majestic universe so why would I dare go in between?”

 

“It hurts, though. Sometimes.”

 

 

 

 

**TRACK 06 –[BINTAGE – COMFORT ZONE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvytoOa7-GQ)**

 

_**Hey pretty girl, I thought we were great** _

_**That's what you showed** _

_**You took your love back and ran yourself track** _

_**I think I was rather into it more** _

 

 

 

 

_Park Jihoon was like a flower these days. After the amusement park, Woojin noted how much he bloomed. He now used make up cosmetics, his lips were tainted with lip tint or gloss and he would usually wear something nicer than his neon colored sweaters. And there must be something with the way he moved lately --- almost careful and gracious._

 

_It's given, though. Jihoon turned nineteen already. There's the glow of his and he couldn't help but feel a little more than he should be feeling. At times, when he's around, he was literally out of breath. Or when he smiled on his way, he felt he was hypnotized by his eyes._

 

_Happy suited Jihoon the most._

 

_“Yah, Jihoon!” Jaehwan called him as they were exiting their classroom and Jihoon was wary as he neared them. “What's gotten you prettier?”_

 

_Both Woojin and Jihoon's jaws dropped by Jahewang's sudden bluntness._

 

_Jihoon stuttered and looked everywhere but them. “I—I... don't.... what.”_

 

_“Look at you stuttering.” Jaehwan taunted more and Woojin's curiosity was piqued by this time. “I'm sure you're secretly dating someone.”_

 

_“WhaaAT?” His yell was a little bit louder. “I don't---- I have my next class. Bye.” He said, running away from them without even looking back._

 

_Jaehwan crossed his arms in front of him, eyes zeroing on Jihoon's retreating figure. “I think he's dating, still. Don't you think so?”_

 

_He wondered if he really was and tried to remember if he said anything about him dating. “No. I mean --- he has never told me yet.” Woojin trailed off. “He would tell me... right?”_

 

_One of his friends looked at him, putting his hands on his shoulders and answered, “Who knows, right?”_

 

 

_Starting that day, Woojin's curiosity became his best friend._

 

_And boy, that had been really bad._

 

_His curiosity turned close to obsession. For there were times that Jihoon wasn't with him, he would secretly tail the said boy. Going to school, going home, in between classes, in the convenience store down to the playground. There was not anything special._

 

_Until December came and Woojin felt like his world shattered._

 

_For outside his house, in front of Jihoon's door he stood. Prettier and sparkling as ever with that wonderful smile on his pretty face. Indeed, Woojin could say it was one of the most beautiful sights he'd seen so far. Then again, he was not alone._

 

_Standing next to him was none other than the same guy who used to tease and annoy him and the same guy whom he thought he was the first time they met on the bench. It would have been okay if they were only standing but he was holding his hand and he was blushing like a tomato._

 

_And Woojin all but watched as he tiptoed to kiss the other man on his cheeks. On that fateful day, he broke his heart into pieces and his first love suddenly vanished along with his heart._

 

 

 

 

 

“Park. Park.” Woojin wakes him up.

 

The moment he opens his eyes, he sees Woojin standing outside the car, his door widely open. Woojin is so close, his lips so close --- his eyes and his cologne smells like the usual ones he knew. He doesn't realize he fell asleep and for how long --- he has no idea because he smells the fresh Busan air and its sea.

 

He slams the door shut and his eyes wander along the beauty of its night time view. The lights of the different towers and buildings reflect on its water and he can't help the longing he feels for his hometown.

 

“It's still as pretty as ever.” Woojin drops a comment, standing beside him, sitting at the back of his pick up car.

 

Jihoon wakes up from his reverie and steals a glance at Woojin. He then notices that the back of his pick up car is covered with thick comforter and blankets with pillows around and snacks they bought before this journey.

 

The man sits beside him, nudging his hips. “Thank you.”

 

Woojin shrugs him off, picking two cans of beer, opening then offering to him. “Cheers?” The cans clink. “To new beginnings?”

 

“To new beginnings.” He approves and drowns the beer.

 

At the new found silence between the two of them, it feels prosperous. He watches Woojin looking at the peaceful ocean with serene face. There's a little pain in his heart to know that this tradition is going to be their last.

 

Because he's going to miss it --- miss Woojin --- miss the comforting silence --- miss the non-stop bickering --- miss reminiscing stories with Woojin --- he's going to miss his best friend. The same guy who was always there when he needed someone --- at his highest peak of her life down to the lowest point of it. The one who never left --- the one who would never leave.

 

Then again, there are times when people have to let go --- not because people want to, but they need to. This is the best case scenario of it. Both he and Woojin have to stop this tradition --- this _comfort zone_ because it may be beautiful and nice but they can't grow. It's not like they are entirely stopping the friendship, their partners know how much they treasure this special partnership between them, but this time, they know they have their own boundaries.

 

“So are you excited, Park?” He suddenly asks, sipping his beer.

 

“Don't you think Hyeongseob is going to be the liveliest bridegroom this year?” Woojin counter backs.

 

Park Jihoon fakes a gag, shaking his head. “I think I will be.”

 

Woojin abruptly turns to him with a shock written all over his face. “What do you mean by that, Park? Has he proposed to you yet?” He glances at his hands but there's nothing there. His fingers are void of any trace of a ring.

 

“Well, he asked me.” Just thinking about him makes him smile already. “But I told him to give me some time for now.”

 

“Why? You love him, right?”

 

“Not everything is going to be about love, stupid.” He smirks at his annoyed face. “I'm sure I'm going to marry him. I love him very much, Park, why are you even doubting that. It's just that --- is it time? Am I ready? Is he ready? Are we ready?”

 

“Then when will you be ready?”

 

“When did you find out that you're ready?”

 

“I honestly have no idea.” He answers truthfully. “It's just, fuck it, marry me Hyeongseobbie then yeah he said yes. You were there, Park, what the actual heck, why are you even asking this?”

 

The flashback starts as he remembers his boyfriend cuddling next to him on the floor while having a Harry Potter marathon, under the blankets at the start of December. He nuzzled his hair and in muffled voice, he whispered, _Shall we get married, Hyung?_ He remembers freezing by his question and smiling as he answered, _Give me time, please._

 

“I think there's no time telling when to be ready.” Woojin's voice echoes in him mind. He glances down at his watch. “It will just hit you then pooof you're all set for something better.”

 

“Guess so.”

 

Woojin faces his completely which throws him off because he's so close to him. So so so close to him and he's finding it hard to breathe. “Do you mind?”

 

_What._

 

“Do you ---” His fingers reach his face and then there's something about his eyes which begs _let me, please, for tonight_ and there's a sudden panic for a reason he isn't sure why. “---mind if I kiss you tonight?”

 

He's tried to protest but it is all drowned by Woojin sealing his lips with his. There was once he dreamed of how it would be like --- to kiss his best friend and now, it's happening. It's nothing earth shaking type of kiss, not even _just_ meeting of their lips type of kiss. Nothing like he imagined it to be. But there's something very special how his fingers tighten around his face and how his own hands grip on the back of his hair. There's something special the way his eyes flutter open as he stops to stare at him then continues.

 

Would this count as cheating to their own partners?

 

How about Hyeongseob? How about ---

 

And then they hear the fireworks which brings them back to their reality.

 

But Woojin greets, “Happy New Year, Park.” With a smile.

 

Then there's the unknowing pain inside his heart and stomach as he looks at Woojin. And he thinks back of the gummy eyesmile he loves so much ---- an eyesmile that is currently waiting for him to come back after this trip and he wants to cry so badly. He feels sick in the stomach.

 

“Shhh.” He soothes the tears from his face. “Shhh, don't cry.”

 

“I'm sorry.” He sobs, clutching his black hoodie with his fingers. “To Hyeongseobbie, to you --- to him, I'm so sorry. I have never meant to complicate our friendship. I don't want to jeopardize our friendship like this, Park, I swear.”

 

“It is I who keeps complicating this, Park.” He brushes his hands on his brown hair. “I should feel sorry but then again I don't want to feel sorry for how I truly feel for you. I don't regret feeling this for you. I don't regret loving more than how I should feel.”

 

He breathes. “You know what I regret? Not acting upon them and letting you go. That --- that is what I regret.” He closes his eyes as he leans down to kiss his lids. “But then you love him, Park. You're in love with him --- and I cannot do anything with that.”

 

“I know.” He seconds.

 

“And goodamnit, I'm his friend, too.” There's desperation in his voice. “It's not like he's some bastard hurting you.” There's now a smile on his face, sitting properly on his pick up car. “And I guess I'm okay with that.”

 

“Hyeongseob is a lovely person, Park.” Jihoon remarks. “Let's not hurt Hyeongseob. Let's not hurt him. Let's not hurt them. They did not do anything wrong to us. He loves you and you love him. He does love me and I do love him, as well.”

 

Woojin\s hair sways in approval. “I don't think I can even hurt them.”

 

“You can't even hurt a fly.” He teases. Now, the tension is gone.

 

He sips on his beer. “That, too.”

 

Jihoon offers his can and they both shout, “Cheers!”

 

“I love you.” He admits. He chokes on his beer after hearing that. “I would always love you, Park Jihoon. There's nothing that can change that. As a best friend, perhaps.”

 

With a sigh, Jihoon acknowledges, too. “And I love you too, Park.” He ruffles his hair and slings his arm around his broad shoulder. “Nothing can ever change that. Not even you marrying Hyeongseobbie. Not me even marrying him.”

 

In this lifetime, love is not enough.

 

 

 

 

 

Park Woojin parks his car in front of his house, Jihoon fidgeting on his seat, stealing glances at the door of his house and Woojin. He can't understand why he's antsy now that they are in Seoul. It's not like he's going to stop seeing his best friend after this.

 

The guy senses it, as he takes his hand in his.

 

“He's waiting for you.” Softly, he reminds him.

 

“Five minutes.” Jihoon pleads, lips trembling.

 

 

**TRACK 07 –[SANCHEZ – FIVE MINUTES](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aajvVtAuVeI)**

 

 

_**Wanna stay together for a little longer?** _

_**I don't wanna say bye yet.** _

_**What do I do? Stay with me a little more.** _

_**Five more minutes, just us two.** _

_**Stay in my arms, five more minutes, just us two.** _

 

 

They both settle to come out of the car, leaning on the right side wherein the door to his house is in. There's an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach as the brown door of his house mocks him in.

 

“Five minutes...” He sighs, squeezing his hand. “Would that be enough for us?”

 

“It's not like we're ending our best friendship, Park.”

 

“Right.” He nods in acceptance. “Yet somehow, it feels like letting go. Letting go of driving back and forth to Busan. Letting go of what could have been's.”

 

“That's how and what we should do, Park.” A gentle reality check for him. “If we don't, when will ever let go, right?”

 

A hum in exchange.

 

“No more late night phone calls.” _Really, who spends time calling each other at 4am when trouble comes your way?_

 

He nods. “No more driving to different places at 12 in the midnight when one craves for something.” _Who even does that, anyway?_

 

“No more asking you to call you in sick and pretend to be your boyfriend in attempt to get you of your work.” Woojin adds.

 

Woojin casts a pointed look at him. “And no more babying Poohoon.”

 

“But --- that's different.”

 

He only shakes his head in return. “He's my brother.”

 

“He is like a brother to me, too.” He whines at him. “So I actually want to spoil him, not just because you are his brother. You have to give me that. I'm almost like his father.”

 

“Well,” He concedes. “not too much, though. Under my supervision.”

 

“Then that means nothing.” Woojin makes kissy faces on him and he all but gags up. “Pretty pretty please. He's my baby, too, I want a custody.”

 

Jihoon hits him on his face lightly. “Shut up.”

 

The both them begin to laugh, easing him even more. Woojin once again presses his hand on his gently and turns to him. “Five minutes is up, Park.”

 

He purses his lips and smiles at him. With a sigh, their hands slip apart but this time, it's not hard anymore. Because they're both smiling at each other and everything is settled. They both have learned something from tonight.

 

Jihoon walks till he reaches his door, he spins around. Woojin stands there with his hands inside his pockets, looking stunning and easy now. Before he twists his door knob, they find nodding at each other. And with a smile, he lets himself open the door of his house, hands clutching his chest.

 

In this lifetime, first love does not equal to last love. Love isn't always unbounded and unlimited. At times, love has boundaries that you cannot cross.

 

_At twenty-eight, Park Jihoon lets his first love go without regrets._

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Did you have a good ride?”

 

Jihoon jumps by the sound of his voice, clinking his tongue in disapproval as he sees his boy friend on the floor, cuddling plushies, blankets and comforters messy and a rerun of Harry Potter on TV.

 

He slips off his shoes, walking towards him. “Why are you re-watching that without me?” He pouts at him, taking the comforter off of him, snuggling on his chest.

 

The guy smiles at him like the fireworks he's seen hours ago in Busan and thinks of _this lifetime, I'm all yours and you're all mine. In this lifetime, you're more than my comfort zone, more than anything for me._

 

“I was bored.” He sheepishly answers, hugging him tighter. “And I missed you. Happy New Year, Hyung.”

 

He beams at him, tugging the corner of his cheeks. “Let's spend this year together happily, Guanlin-ah. And the next year and the next year and the next next next next year. Until there will be no more years to wait for.”

 

Guanlin's face is astonished by his words. He freezes on his spot, his smile is suddenly gone and he can only hear his heart beating louder as the seconds pass by. “What do you mean?”

 

“Does the offer still stand?” His voice is little and shy. “Shall we get married, too, Lin?”

 

And his face morphs into that eyesmile again and his stomach makes a 360 degree flip as he sighs, relaxed more than ever. “Oh my god, you scared me for a moment, Hyung. But --- yes yes.” His voice is chipper this time. “The offer stands whenever you're ready.”

 

He takes his face with his hands and kisses him until they're both breathless. “Then, yes, Lin-ah, let's get married. Yes, yes, yes, let's get married.”

 

Guanlin's face is brighter than he has ever seen, more than when he had tried stealing kisses when they were younger and yes, this is the kind of comfort zone he's willing to stay. With him and his smile and with his twinkling eyes.

 

As he embraces Guanlin and holds him in his arms, he realizes there's nothing better than _his greatest love_ and not even _his first love_ can compare.

 

 

 

 

Woojin sits inside his car, a star-shaped paper on his hand. The last star-shaped paper from the bottle that Jihoon gifted him on his birthday.

 

He smiles as he folds down the paper and watches as the lights inside Jihoon's house turns off.

 

_**You had beautiful eyes.** _

_**The kind you could get lost in.** _

_**And I guess I did.** _

 

If he only saw this star-shaped paper before. Maybe it would have been different.

 

_Goodbye, my first love,_ are the four words hanging off on Woojin's lips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> How was it? T-T
> 
> my wannaone twitter account is @whoojined please scream at me there!


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